This is an old post from my previous blog.
Where do we draw the line?
March 9, 2009
I threw a small birthday party for my husband this past weekend. I invited six people, four adults and two kids (in addition to the three adults and one kid that live in our house). Someone asked me if it was okay for the adults to bring alcoholic beverages to be consumed after the kids had gone to bed.
As I am not a complete prude, I said that yes, that was fine. When everyone showed up, they had several bags of alcohol, and were intent on getting totally drunk. Okay, that was fine. I have carpeted floors for people to crash on if necessary, and a nice futon that is really the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house, and that is available for sleeping on as well.
The party progresses, we eat lots of food, devour most of a half-sheet cake, and then people started drinking. I cannot drink because of a medication I am on, so I was the designated driver–driving out to fetch things from the store as needed. After several hours of drinking, one person excused herself to go to bed. The kids were already all asleep in my bed, and it was starting to get late. I mean around 2:30 am late, not 10:00 pm late. I went to the kitchen to put the leftover food away and when I went back to the living room, the remaining four adults had paired off with each other and were kissing very deeply. I stood there for a moment, surprised by this turn, then went over and stroked my cat who was curled up on the recliner. No one noticed that I was even in the room. I decided to go use the bathroom and brush my teeth and start getting ready for bed.
When I was done in the bathroom a few minutes later, I went back to the living room, where things had not changed much except that now, there was some heavy petting going on in addition to the kissing. Not being the jealous type necessarily, I decided to go on and go to bed, though I was slightly miffed at their behavior and the fact that no one had cared that there were children in the house that could have come out of the bedroom and watched their little orgy.
Anyway, I went into my sons bedroom and crawled into bed with him. Then I proceeded to lay there, listening to the increasingly loud sounds coming from the living room, and after a while, there were obvious orgasms happening.
Over and over and over and over, for the next hour and a half. At one point, they were so loud that they woke up my son and he went out of his room to get a drink. The living room is visible from the bathroom, so I have no idea what he saw…
They finally shut up, and I finally managed to get to sleep, and slept for all of three hours.
Around 7:00 am, my husband came into our sons room and asked me if I would like to go sleep in our bed. I asked if everyone was gone and he said they were, so I extracted myself from my son’s death grip and went to lay down in my bed.
I managed to pry the details out of Mr. Control Freak later that day. He and the other people at the party had gotten drunk and started making out. Soon, they were all naked except for their socks and performing oral sex on each other, with the two women switching back and forth between my husband and the other guy. The two men had no sexual contact with each other. The other guy and his wife had sex with each other, but Mr. Control Freak swears that he only exchanged oral sex with the two women. I’m not sure I believe him.
When confronted with my anger, the three other people involved all claimed that the entire situation was my husband’s fault for not telling them that it was not okay for them to do that. Hello!?!? They should have asked if it was okay, not just assumed… so now I have three less “friends” than I had before. If they are not willing to take responsibility for themselves and acknowledge that they should have asked rather than just assuming and then are willing to pin all the blame on someone else, I don’t need them for friends.
My husband is to blame for it, too. Don’t get me wrong, I am not excusing him here. He is as much to blame as the other three, but my point is that there were four adults in the living room, and I was available, and no one asked if it were okay. So now, I don’t know what to do. My son may have seen them in their little orgy, and that is unacceptable to me. This is not the first time my husband has done something like this, and I am sure he will do it again in the future.
Part of me thinks I should just call it good and leave, but I have no car, I have no real job skills, no income, and no money for living on. I don’t know where I would go or what I would do or how I would support my son. Life is scary sometimes, and I don’t know what to do.