I have been sharing my old blog posts, some funny, some detailing abuse that I have endured, some just whining. I wanted to assure you that everything I write here is true. I have experienced all of this stuff, and so much more.
Today, though, I wanted to write about the more recent past.
I have been a cast member at our local Renaissance Festival for many years. Whenever we have moved, I always seek out the Ren Faire and join the cast. It’s something that helps me cope with all the crap that is going on. This matters because in 2015, about a week after the Ren Faire ended in October, my son and I moved out.
We had secured an apartment in a HUD funded apartment complex about an hour away from where we lived with our abuser-my husband-and that day, we enlisted the help of a friend, and moved a few of our belongings to the apartment. We did all of this covertly and Mr. Control Freak didn’t have a clue what was going on. I texted him that morning before we left and told him we needed to talk, but he ignored me as he so often does, and so we just moved out without telling him.
The apartment was a nice size, and had a kitchen island with the cooktop on it, but many of the people that lived there were horrible. The people upstairs, screamed and shrieked and stomped around at all hours of the day and night. One night they took a gun out onto their balcony and started shooting random things, including my balcony. The person who lived next door to us had robbed the gas station a couple of blocks away, and had shot the clerk and left him for dead, and was awaiting trial for that. He wasn’t supposed to be living there at all, but the manager couldn’t get him to leave the apartment. The man across the hall was mentally unstable and we found him outside several times wearing nothing but a single sock.
One of our neighbors stole the antenna off my car, and someone kept parking so close to my car that I couldn’t get the driver’s door open. The apartment was not well maintained and the flooring had holes under the carpet, the carpet was stained and old, the ceiling was collapsing in my living room. It was a mess, and we were afraid for our safety, but it was at least away from Mr. Control Freak.
We lived there for ten days, then I learned of a house that was sitting empty and had been for six months. I contacted the owner and she said that rather than let it sit empty any more, we could live in it rent free as long as I put the utilities in my name. I did that, and we moved in there a week later.
I was job hunting and had been applying for every job I found, but was having no luck. The house we were staying in had no heat and just bare sub-flooring in the master bedroom, and we were cold, but the owner stepped up and replaced the furnace and put carpet in the bedroom a couple of months later. I didn’t ask her to do it, she did it herself, but then a month after that, she told me that I was going to have to start paying $950/month in rent if I wanted to continue to stay in the house. I told her that I was looking for a job and asked if I could start paying her as soon as I found something. She agreed to that.
So, a couple of months later, (it was March by this time) I was hired by a company that performs retail espionage and was told that I was to be on a special team that traveled to the states closest to where I lived, and I would be contacted to fill out paperwork and complete my training.
I was contacted and asked to complete the standard new-hire paperwork, and was told again that I would be contacted to complete the training once the rest of my team had been hired. I never heard back. I called and emailed and got no responses from anyone, so I continued my job search.
Another month passed and I was hired by a company based in Ireland and started working. During these months, my son and I had been super happy. We were thoroughly enjoying the freedom and lack of abuse that we had never had before. It was liberating and amazing.
Several more months pass and my landlady comes to talk to me about buying the house we were living in. I told her that I would be happy to buy the house and set about getting financing. We had dinner one night and I told her that everything was ready for me to buy the house from her and she was happy. Then the next day, she texted me and said that she had decided to give the house to her daughter instead, but her daughter might let us continue to rent it.
Two weeks went by and I got a certified letter in the mail from the daughter, telling me that I had three business days from the receipt of the letter to get out of the house. She also came over the next night to inform me of this in person. I told her that was not legal and after much arguing, she agreed to give me til the end of the month, about three weeks.
I was scrambling to get everything packed and find some place to go that I could afford and that was safe while still working. My husband had been informed of all of this that was going on and he suggested that we move back into his house temporarily. He said he would clean out the office and I could use it as my room and our son could have his old bedroom back since it still had most of his stuff in it. I asked where I would be staying until the office was cleaned out and was told that I could sleep on the sofa if I wanted to.
We had found several possible places to move, but every time we looked at one, it was rented out from under us, so after the 10th or 11th time that happened, I finally reluctantly agreed to temporarily move back into my husband’s house. I didn’t want to. My son and I and been on our own for a year and we were actually happy and I didn’t want to give that up, but I didn’t see any other option except to be homeless.
So we moved back in here in October of last year and for the first week or so, things were awkward, but Mr. Control Freak was making a bit of an effort not to be completely horrible, but he has since given up, and has become awful again. He never got the office cleaned out, and he won’t allow me to sleep on the sofa, he does whatever he possibly can to try to force me to sleep in the bedroom with him, and he is as bad as ever with the bullying, controlling and emotional abuse.
I quit looking for a place to go because the week before Christmas, the company I was working for cancelled the project I was assigned to and I have been unable to find more work yet. I am trying desperately to come up with $2,700 so I can get some training and have an almost guaranteed job at the end, one that pays enough to allow us to move back out of here so we can get on with our lives again, but I can’t get the money, so I am again stuck.